So cynical
In the fact that love existed
He only believed in it in intervals
He may have only been 15
But his tears were the fears of an old man,
To weary to understand,
Or even go on,
Yes his feelings strong,
But his words were so true,
Hers were so too.
Her touch was his annointment
Now its just disappointment
Time after time, he thought he knew love
But one way or another, he continuously screwed up.
On day one, he said he would never love again,
Never give a hug, or even ever trust a friend
But then she walked in,
His heart turned into smile,
But his parents fucked it up,
He had to go away awhile,
So they chit-chatted and rattled everything that was on their brain
He was so love struck it was hard to remember his middle name
But where he was tore at him
He couldnt understand it
It wasnt his fault,
Neither of them had planned it
It drained every good aspect of him there ever was
It was killing him inside that he couldnt just give up
Everything started to break, things started to shake,
He figured he give it some time, after that it be a peice of cake,
They seperated ways but not how he had planned.
He didnt explain it right, she couldnt fully understand,
That everything would be all good when he got back to his home
But now when he got there, he realized that he would be alone
She didnt let him explain.
You know what, i cant finish this. Its to painful. I told her everything would be better when I got home. She wouldnt even let me TALK to her. How could she let me find out this way. Screw the awkward stuff, you could have just told me over the phone. But I had to read it in a blog. Like, do you even care about me? Was I just a thing to you? We could have talked it out, but we didnt, which probably led to this. It was only four weeks. Thats all it would have taken everything to be fine. If you didnt love me anymore, you could have just told me. Instead of breaking my heart. I dont think ill ever love again. EVER. Fuck life, fuck love. Love is something that the mind invents to kill you at a faster rate. Atleast thats what love does to me. And, even tho you probably will read this, you probably still wont talk to me. Im not even mad, its the fact that you didnt let me explain or talk about it. Thats whats buggin me. I would even attempt to talk to you now, but it seems like your done with me. Ill never fill that spot in my heart that I had for you Fujiko. Its not possible. Hopefully, one day, we can talk about this wether we plan on dating again or not. Im even contemplating staying in GA. Seeing you in school everyday would be to painful. I dont kno if I could handle it. But you wouldnt care either way. If you do care about me still, even thought were not dating, tell me. Otherwise, im just gonna assume you dont. Look, I just want to explain my side of the story. If you dont want to listen, fine, ill keep it to myself. But just know that I would like to explain. If you give me the chance. Feel free to comment on it...
PS. Im not mad. I know what I did wrong now. I just want the chance to atleast SEE if we can fix this. Just give me that chance...
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